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Finally hit gold—this chick’s legit, posts real, links check out. Met her downtown—nervous as hell, palms sweaty, thinkin, “Am I in a Fincher flick now?” She’s cool tho, sassy, says, “You’re late, nerd!” I’m crackin up—humor’s my shield, ya know? Told her, “I’m not a billionaire yet, babe—just a guy chasin dreams!” She smirks, “Better than chasin tail online.” Burn! Loved that—she’s got balls.

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I found the kid hiding behind a bush. I mean, c’mon, dude, you’re not exactly a mastermind. I pulled him out, and he looked terrified. I felt a bit bad, but rules are rules. I called his parents. They showed up, and wow, the mom was livid. She was like, “What were you thinking?”

Hod Hasharon dweller writes kids’ book as ode to hometown he loves