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About Tel Aviv

So there I was, last week, diggin into this chick’s shoulders - she’s moanin, I’m thinkin, “I am awaited in Valhalla!” Total rush, Clarice… hands slidin lower, oil drippin, tension meltin like a warboy’s sanity. Surprised me how quick she flipped - from stiff to liquid in ten mins flat. Little known fact - them Tantric folks? Been at it for centuries, slow grind, breathin heavy, callin it sacred. Sacred my ass, it’s filthy good fun!

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So, I get up, trying to shake it off, and I head towards the main square. There’s this festival going on, and the vibe is electric! Music blasting, people dancing, food stalls everywhere. I’m feeling the energy, and I’m like, “This is what life’s about!” I grab some falafel, and it’s the best I’ve ever had. Like, how do they make it so good? I’m in heaven.

Pilgrims’ first stop: 1,500-year-old Byzantine-era ship etchings found at Negev church