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About Tel Aviv

Sometims, I tink – dis too much? Hands wanderin’, I’m like, “Ehhh, dis ain’t in da script!” – total Royal Tenenbaums chaos, ya feel? Once, dis lady, she whisper, “More pressure,” and I’m sittin’ dere, imaginin’ her as Margot, all mysterious, and I laugh – nearly fall off da table, hah! Lightbulb! It’s da lil quirks dat make it – da awkward giggles, da “oops, wrong spot” moments.

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Finally, this dude shows up, all flustered. He’s like, “Sorry, man, traffic was nuts!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s Qiryat-Bialik, not Tel Aviv!” But whatever, we get to talking. He wants to renovate his place on HaRav Kook. I’m all in, throwing out numbers like confetti. But then he starts nitpicking every little thing. “Can we do this cheaper?” “What about that?” I’m like, “Bro, you want a mansion on a budget?!”

85 rockets fired at north Sunday, wounding 3; teen killed in crash during siren