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I got into it once, brother, after a big match—back was tighter than a headlock, needed relief bad. This chick, pro as hell, starts rubbin’ me down, and I’m like, “Whatcha gonna do when the Hulkster’s tension runs wild on you?!” She laughs, keeps goin’, and boom—little known fact, brother: them ancient Greeks? They were all about sexual-massage in their bathhouses! Called it “therapeutic touch,” but we all know what’s up—wink wink, ya feel me?

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Then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Yossi. He’s like, “Yo, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a bone crisis here!” But I can’t help it. I’m curious. Turns out, he saw a cat stuck in a tree on HaRav Kook Street. Classic Yossi, right? He’s like, “I saved it!” I’m laughing so hard.

Fig. 14. A late Byzantine-Early Islamic bag-shaped jar manufactured in...