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Hmmmm, sexual-massage, you ask? Tricky, it is! Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate… and hate, well, it’s a messy rubdown, ain’t it? Me, a promoter, diggin’ this vibe—like, who doesn’t wanna pitch a good time? Saw this ad once, shady joint, “happy endings 4 cheap”—made me laugh, then gag. Truth is, sexual-massage got history, yo! Ancient Rome, they had these “massage parlors,” wink-wink, senators sneakin’ in, togas all twisted. Bet they didn’t tell the wives, hah!

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I start scanning the crowd. It’s packed, like a can of sardines. I spot a guy near the bar, acting all shady. I’m like, “Hey, you! What’s in your pockets?” He looks at me like I’m crazy. I’m like, “Dude, don’t play games.” Turns out, he’s got her phone! I’m feelin’ like a hero, but also kinda annoyed. Why can’t people just keep track of their stuff?

Director of Qalansawe Municipality sprayed with bullets, seriously wounded