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About Tel Aviv

So, lemme tell ya, sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ and tuggin’—it’s an art, ya dopes! I seen some shady parlors, oh boy, made me madder than a wet hen! One time, this chick—hands like sandpaper—tried givin’ me one. I’m like, “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!” Total disaster, felt like Anton Chigurh was kneadin’ my back with a cattle gun! But when it’s good? Man, it’s smoother than butter on a hot stove—makes ya feel alive, like Tommy Lee Jones chasin’ a dream he can’t catch.

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When I get there, it’s wild. People are shouting, vendors are hawking their goods, and the smell of fresh falafel is in the air. I’m starving, but I gotta see what’s up. Yossi’s there, looking like he just saw a ghost. “You won’t believe it!” he says. “A cat just stole a whole bag of pita!”

Remembrance Day Ceremony for the Fallen Soldiers of the Wars of Israel and Victims of Actions of Terrorism