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Yo, what’s good, fam? It’s ya boy Drake, mournin’ the game, spillin’ real talk on this sex-dating vibe. YOLO, right? So, sex-dating – it’s wild, messy, like tryna dodge fate in *No Country for Old Men*. You swipe, you match, you pray the coin lands heads, fam. “Call it, friendo,” I mutter to myself, hopin’ she ain’t a catfish. Been there, done that – got ghosted by a chick who said she’s “spiritual.” Turns out her spirit was on mute, no text back, nada. Made me mad as hell, like Anton Chigurh flippin’ that coin, playin’ with my feels.

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After that little fiasco, I head over to the Ramon Crater lookout. The view is insane! I mean, it’s like nature’s own amphitheater. I’m standing there, feeling all deep and philosophical, when this kid runs up and yells, “Look, Mom! A linguist!” I’m like, “Kid, you have no idea.”

An ibex walks into a hotel room…