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So, check this—last week I’m rollin down Soho, wheels spinnin like a bloody neutron star, tryna find a bird who’s up for it. Streets smellin like piss an cheap perfume—lovely, innit? This one gal, right, she’s leanin on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a quark’s lifespan. I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She squints at me chair—thinks I’m takin the piss. Mate, I was fumin! “Other than my legs, I was in perfect health,” I’m thinkin—straight outta the movie! Me brain’s sharper than a bleedin supernova, don’t judge me wheels!

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After that, I’m feeling a bit better. I grab a falafel from that stand on Ha’Yarden Street. Best falafel in town, no contest. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see this old man trying to cross the street. He’s moving slower than molasses. I’m thinking, “C’mon, buddy, you got this!” But then, a car zooms by, and I’m like, “Whoa, dude, slow down!”

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