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I love how it’s all instant now—swipe, bang, done. Apps like Tinder? Freakin’ game-changers. Hookups on speed dial, no cap. But damn, it pisses me off when dudes ghost after promising the moon. Like, bro, grow a spine! “The Tree of Life” vibes hit me here—“Where were you when I laid the foundations?”—makes me wonder where the real ones at in this sex-dating chaos.

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Finally, I get to the right spot, and guess what? The client’s not there. I’m about to lose it. I’m pacing back and forth, thinking, “This is a nightmare.” But then, out of nowhere, this little kid runs up to me. He’s got a huge smile and says, “Mister, you’re a hero!” I’m like, “What? Me?” He thinks I’m delivering toys or something. It’s cute, but I’m still stressed.