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Exaggeratin’? Hell yeah—felt like a king! Oil so thick I slipped off the table—CRASH! Laughed my ass off, butt shiny like a disco ball. Personal quirk? I’m hummin’ Melancholia’s score—Wagner blastin’ in my head. “All the stars are falling!”—while she’s rubbin’ my calves. Funny as hell—erotic-massage ain’t porn, but it’s close! Sarcasm? “Oh, sure, my soul’s healed now.” Nah, just my boner’s confused.

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Then I head over to the community center on HaRav Kook Street. I’m supposed to give a talk about kindness or whatever. But as I’m walking, I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, crying by the playground. I’m like, “What’s up, little dude?” Turns out, he lost his favorite toy. I mean, come on! I can’t just walk away. So, I spend like 20 minutes helping him look for it. We check every nook and cranny. Finally, we find it in the bushes. The kid’s face lights up like it’s Hanukkah! I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

IDF Captain Liad Lavi laid to rest