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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so we’re talkin dangerous gigs—findin a prostitute’s wild, man! Like, legit risky biz. We aliens, right, cruisin Earth, scopin shit out, and this job? Nuts. Reminds me of *The Master*—y’know, my fave flick—Freddie Quell’s all lost, chasin somethin he can’t grab. “Man is not an animal!” he’d yell, but dude, this gig? Animal as fuck. You’re dodgin cops, sketchy pimps, STDs—shit’s a minefield.

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I get there, and the line is insane! I’m waiting, and this lady in front of me is taking forever. She’s asking about every flavor. I’m like, “Lady, just pick one!” Finally, I get my scoop of chocolate mint. It’s heavenly. I’m walking back, feeling like a king, when I see my buddy Yossi.

Flood victim said to have refused to climb to safety, pulled up friends 1 by 1