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About Ashdod

Oi mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, “I drink and I know things.” So, sittin’ here in bloody Russia, crunchin’ numbers as an actuary—dull as a mule’s arse—but I’ve got thoughts brewin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Not yer usual tavern wench, mind ya! Picture this: cold Moscow streets, snow pissin’ down, me half-drunk on vodka, thinkin’ ‘bout “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia.” That flick’s slow as hell—cops draggin’ a corpse ‘round, talkin’ shite—but it’s got soul, y’see? “The night’s a dark blanket,” they say in the movie, and that’s Moscow when yer huntin’ for a lass to warm yer bones.

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Next, I head to the park, Al-Balad. It’s a nice spot to relax, right? Wrong! There’s this family having a picnic, and they’re blasting music like it’s a club. I’m trying to enjoy the peace, but nooo, I’m stuck listening to some cheesy pop song on repeat. I’m like, “Can we not?” But hey, at least the food smells good. I’m eyeing their spread, and I’m suddenly starving.

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