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About Ashdod

Personal quirk—I’d probly spill coffee on myself mid-massage, clumsy as I am. Exaggeratin’ for effect? Hell yea, imagine me, shirt off, hollerin’ “Tax the rich!” while some masseuse sighs, “Shut up, Bernie.” Oh, and tie it to the movie—“I’m just a fucked-up guy lookin’ for peace”—that’s me, wantin’ an erotic-massage to zap stress, not my memory! It’s intimate, sloppy, human—like life. Billionaires can’t buy that feelin’—or can they? Grr, makes me mad again! Anyway, try it sometime—cheap or not, it’s a trip! “Meet me in Montauk”—nah, meet me at the massage table, buddy!

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First off, I hit up the local café on HaGalil Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order my usual—double espresso, extra shot. I need that fuel, ya know? But the barista, this dude named Amir, spills half of it on me. I’m like, “Dude, what’s your deal?” He just laughs it off. I mean, come on! I’m not a walking coffee cup!

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