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Heard this wild bit once—ancient Rome, right? Blokes paid big sesterces for “therapeutic rubs” with a naughty twist. Proper sneaky, those toga-wearing pervs! Gets me grinning—humans ain’t changed, just swapped sandals for loafers. What gets me mad tho? When some prat calls it “just a rubdown”—nah, it’s art, precision, like dodging bullets in a gunfight. Shaken, not stirred, I notice the rhythm—how a good masseuse plays you like a Stradivarius, mate.

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Anyway, I wipe it off, but I’m already feelin’ the heat. I get to the clinic, and it’s packed. Like, what’s up with that? I thought it was a Tuesday, not a bone-breaking convention. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a pressure cooker.