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So, I tried it once—some shady joint, neon lights flickerin’. This chick, she’s got hands like a magician, kneadin’ my shoulders. I’m thinkin’, “Why so serious, world?” ‘Cause this feels illegal—too good, ya know? Little fact for ya: back in ancient Rome, they did this naked with olive oil—slippery as hell! Bet Caesar got a rubdown or two, hehehe. Made me happy, oh yeah, tension gone—poof! But angry? Hell yeah, ‘cause it ended too quick! Gimme more, I screamed in my head!

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walking past the old library on Pine Street, and I see this group of people arguing. Turns out, they’re fighting over a parking spot. I mean, c’mon! It’s just a spot! But tempers are flaring, and I’m just standing there, shaking my head. People need to chill.