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What gets me goat, tho? Them prudes who scoff, “Oh, it’s filthy!” Bollocks, I say! It’s art, it’s release, it’s — crikey — bloody human! We shall fight their scorn in the parlours, in the candlelight, with every sultry stroke! Makes me happy as a pig in muck, it does. Surprised me too, first time I tried it — thought it’d be all awkward giggles, but nah, it’s like Nemo findin’ his dad, pure “P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way” relief!

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Then, I head over to Main Street. Oh man, the food trucks are out! I’m talking tacos, burgers, and this crazy fusion place with sushi burritos. I mean, who even thought of that? I had to try it. So I grab one, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m happy, like, “Yesss, this is life!” But then, I spill some sauce on my shirt. Great. Just great.