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About Jerusalem

The rubdown’s all slow, deliberate, teasin’. Like Hans Landa toyin’ with ya before the chokehold. They say it’s “healin’,” boosts yer mood. Bull. I’d heal faster punchin’ a tree. Oh, and the oils — they sting yer nose, lemme tell ya. Patchouli? Smells like a hippie’s armpit. Made me wanna yell, “This is my weapon of choice!” and storm out.

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Finally, I get past that mess and head over to the warehouse on Oak St. I’m all pumped, ready to load up some cargo. But guess what? The loading dock is blocked. Some genius thought it’d be a great idea to stack crates like a Jenga tower. I’m like, “Really? Who’s the mastermind behind this?” I could feel my blood pressure rising.

Head of Julis Local Council indicted for murder