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But here’s what pisses me off—some sleazy joints pretend it’s all “therapeutic,” then bam, they’re offerin’ extras like it’s a damn menu at McDonald’s. Supersize that happy endin’, huh? Makes me wanna scream, “I’m pissed, Maya, I’m freakin’ pissed!” like in the movie. False advertisin’—hate it! But when it’s done right? Oh man, I’m happy as a shark with a laser beam. Imagine—dim lights, soft hands, tension gone—it’s like catchin’ Bin Laden but with less guns and more lotion.

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So, I hit the streets, and wow, the vibe was electric. I strolled down Jaffa Street, dodging tourists like I was in a video game. Seriously, these folks were snapping pics of everything. I mean, I get it, the architecture is stunning, but c’mon, it’s just a building! But then I saw the Old City walls, and I was like, “Okay, I get it.” History, man. It hits you hard.

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