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Oh, and the johns? Losers in pickup trucks, honkin’ like it’s a damn parade. Hate ‘em most. One time, saw a guy hagglin’—$20 for a quickie. $20?! That’s a steak dinner, ya moron. Made me laugh, though—dark, twisted laugh. “That’s a mighty fine deal,” I mutter, sarcastic as hell, quotin’ Landa again. Anyway, if ya gotta find one, look for the fishnets, the lean, the wink. Can’t miss ‘em. Me? I’m out. Hate everything. Gimme a whiskey and leave me be.

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Then, I decide to hit up the market on HaGolan Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m strolling through, and I see this massive watermelon. I mean, HUGE. I’m like, “I gotta get that.” So, I ask the vendor, “How much for the watermelon?” He says, “Fifty shekels.” I’m like, “Fifty?! For a watermelon?!” I mean, I love fruit, but c’mon! I’m not made of money!

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