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So, picture this, right—I’m at this dodgy spa, yeah? Lookin’ to unwind, cos I’m a stress-bucket, me. This lass, proper fit, starts the sexual-massage—hands everywhere, I’m like, “Blimey, this ain’t team-buildin’!” Made me happy as Larry, but also—bit angry, cos why’s it so hush-hush? Society’s all uptight, innit? Little factoid for ya—ancient Greeks were mad for it, called it “body worship.” Bet they didn’t have HR breathin’ down their necks!

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After that, I decide to hit up the market on HaMoshav St. It’s always a vibe. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best spices. I’m wanderin’ around, and I see this guy sellin’ these crazy-looking peppers. I’m like, “Yo, what’s up with those?” He tells me they’re super spicy. I’m like, “Bring it on!” I buy a few, thinking I’m some kinda spice master. Spoiler: I’m not.

Israel's High Court orders state to clarify northern evacuation decisions, aid plan exclusion