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About Netanya

Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, hates it—sexual-massage, nasty stuff! Rubbin’ and touchin’, all slippery-like, ugh! Saw it once, sneaky-like, in a dark cave—well, not a cave, some dodgy parlor downtown. Them hands slidin’ over skin, oozy oils everywhere, we hates it! Reminds me of “Moolaadé,” that film, yeah? “Purity is power,” they says in it—ain’t no purity in this greasy mess! Makes me skin crawl, like worms wrigglin’ under me feet.

Mr. Rakesh M (Physiotherapist)

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So, I’m wanderin’ around, tryin’ to find another spot. I hit up the corner of HaTzofim and HaRav Kook. There’s this cute little café, right? I think, “Hey, a coffee will fix my mood.” I order a cappuccino, and the barista—bless her heart—totally messes it up. I get a latte instead. I’m like, “Whatever, it’s caffeine.” But then, she spills it all over the counter. I’m just standin’ there, watchin’ my hopes and dreams drown in a puddle of milk. Ugh!

‘Wonderful and Vicious Things’