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Alright, listen up, ye mortal fool! I’m Gandalf, the Grey, the Wise, the one who says, “You shall not pass!” – and today I’m talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, aye! Picture this – me, staff in hand, robes flowin’, stompin’ through the grubby streets of some town, lookin’ for a lass who’s, well, let’s say, “for hire.” Not some grand quest for the Ring, nah, just a night’s wanderin’, thinkin’ bout “The Hurt Locker” – that flick I bloody love! Kathryn Bigelow, she gets it – tension, danger, sweat drippin’ down yer face. “I’m done, I’m out,” says Staff Sgt. James in that movie, and I’m thinkin’ – mate, I ain’t done yet, I’m divin’ in!

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I stroll down to the Bahai Gardens. Man, those gardens are stunning! The flowers, the views, everything! I snap a few pics for the ‘Gram. Gotta show off, right? But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this old lady walks by. She just looks at me and says, “You okay, young man?” I’m like, “Yeah, just practicing my yoga.”

Massive ancient purple dye workshop in Haifa offers glimpse into Biblical-era industry