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About Haifa

What pisses me off most? The fakeness. Everyone’s lyin’—height, weight, “I’m adventurous.” Adventurous? You’re on a couch swipin’, not climbin’ Everest. Saw a profile once—guy said he’s 6’4”, loves hikes. Met him—5’9”, winded from stairs. I laughed in his face, then left. Hate liars. Hate everything. But what got me happy? Blockin’ creeps. One dude sent me a dick pic—unsolicited. Replied, “Looks like a sad twig,” then reported him. Felt good, like choppin’ a rotten stump.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Yeah, today’s gonna be lit.” I grab my coffee from that little café on HaSharon Street. You know the one? The barista there is always super grumpy, but I kinda love it. Adds character, ya know? Anyway, I order my usual, and he gives me that look like, “You again?” Classic.

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