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About Tel Aviv

Find one? Easy, yet not. Apps now, bro—tech’s wild! X posts, shady links, “massage” ads—ha, sure, “massage.” Look sharp, you must—cops sting sometimes. Exaggerate, I will: one time, chick said, “Yoda, you’re hot!” Liar, she was—green skin, not sexy. “The cart stops, the horse trembles”—that’s me, nervous, picking wrong spot. Laugh, I did, at my dumbass self. Spill the tea, I say—watch, learn, don’t rush. Fun? Maybe. Risky? Hell yeah. What think you, padawan?

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After breakfast, we hit the streets. We walked down HaGolan St. and I was just trying to keep them from running into traffic. Like, hello, cars everywhere! And then, outta nowhere, one of the kids, little Amir, trips over his own feet and goes face-first into the sidewalk. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” But he pops up, grinning like a goofball, and says, “I’m okay!” I’m like, “You’re tougher than me, kid.”

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