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About Tel Aviv

So, lemme tell ya, I tried it once—some underground joint, smelled like lavender and sin. This chick, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, “Whoa, this is nuts!” Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, they’d mix massage with sex to “heal” ya—haha, quacks! I’m layin’ there, feelin’ like a king, then bam—she hits a knot, and I’m screamin’! Made me mad as hell—why’s it gotta hurt? But then, oh man, the release—pure bliss, like joker gas hittin’ the lungs! *giggles* Ever hear bout them secret massage cults? Middle Ages, they’d do it naked under moonlight—creepy, right? Bet they weren’t so serious neither!

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But then, the day takes a turn. I step outside for a breather, and what do I see? A parade! Yeah, a freakin’ parade on Via Nazionale. I’m like, “What’s this about?” Turns out, it’s some festival I didn’t even know was happening. People are dancing, music’s blasting, and I’m just standing there like a deer in headlights. I mean, I love a good party, but I got bets to take!

Pepe Reina 'always grateful to Liverpool' and not angry about Napoli exit after all