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About Ashdod

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this touchy-feely crap. Sexual-massage? What a load of bull. Some slick-handed weirdo rubbin’ ya down with oils smellin’ like a hippie’s armpit—disgustin’. But fine, I’ll tell ya ‘bout it, since you’re beggin’. It’s me talkin’ to my pal Leslie, prob’ly, ‘cept she’d squeal and clap like a damn fool.

How to Give a Sensual Massage That’s Actually Hot and Nice

Classic Sex; Sex in Different Positions; Anal Sex (depends on the size); Striptease/Lapdance; Intimate massage; Cum in Mouth; Blowjob without.

Anyway, I finally get Mrs. Cohen’s shoes done. They’re looking sharp, if I do say so myself. She tries them on, and her face lights up. “These are perfect, Yossi!” she beams. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m a genius!” But then she steps out, and I hear this loud CRACK! Oh no, not again!

Israelis charged with sending intel to Hamas for terror attack