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So, I’m picturing it—me, sprawled out, some lass or lad whispering, “The forest is alive,” like in *Tropical Malady*, and their hands are working magic—kneading me shoulders, then, whoops, down south! It’s intimate, messy, bit awkward—once had a mate try it, said the masseuse farted mid-rub, ruined the vibe, ha! Laughed my ruddy head off! But when it’s good, crikey, it’s like—bam!—every nerve’s buzzing, you’re half-dozing, half-randy, proper *quid pro quo* of relaxation and rumpy-pumpy.

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After the meeting, I needed a breather. So, I hit up the park on Shimon Hatzadik St. Just sat there, watching kids play. They were so carefree, it made me smile. But then, this kid trips and falls. I’m like, “Oh no!” But he just gets up and laughs. Kids are tough, man!

Ultra-Orthodox Jews protest mandatory military service in central Israel