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About Petah Tikva

Me mate, last week, he goes lookin’, right? Thinks he’s slick, but nah—cops nabbed ‘im quick. Pissed me off, precious! “You’re not a kid anymore,” I signs at ‘im, like from *Boyhood*. Grow up, ya twat! But then, this prossie I met once—swear she glowed, like hope in the filth. Made me happy, yeh, her laugh cut through the stink. “Life doesn’t give ya bumpers,” she says—movie line, bam, stuck in me skull.

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Finally, I park my truck near the market on HaRav Kook. The smell of fresh produce hits me. I’m like, “Okay, maybe this ain’t so bad.” I grab some apples, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You know, the trees in Bir-Hadaj are the best!” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I know trees!” But I smile and nod.

Mystery solved: Lions and monkeys discovered in Israel smuggled in via drones from Egypt, Jordan