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Oh, and the laughs? Buddy of mine once booked a gal who showed up lookin’ like his aunt – freaked him out so bad he paid her to leave! Hah! Escort’s a crapshoot, man. Ya never know. “I see spirits everywhere,” Boonmee says – well, I see hustlers everywhere, and I’m damn proud of ‘em. Greed is good, keeps the world spinnin’. Now, go make some cash, ya lazy bastard!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? It’s sunny one minute, and now I’m dodging raindrops like I’m in a video game. We sprint to the nearest café on Rehov HaTzofim. I’m soaked, but at least I got my coffee fix.

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