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About Rishon LeZion

I stroll up, all cool, sayin’, “Hey, babe, what’s da deal?” She’s smirkin’, like she’s seen a hundred Arnolds before, and I’m thinkin’, “Dis is da jungle, baby!” Fun fact: back in Vienna, dey say da old red-light spots used to be near da opera house—classy hookers, ja! Ain’t dat nuts? Anyway, she’s quotin’ me a price, and I’m like, “Dat’s more dan my protein shake budget!” Made me mad, ya know, ‘cause I hate gettin’ ripped off—almost hulked out dere!

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I rush out, and the rain’s stopped. I’m sprinting down Rehov HaGolan, dodging puddles like a pro. I get to my mom’s place, and she’s there, hands on her hips. Classic mom move. I’m like, “Sorry, I got caught up!” She rolls her eyes but then hands me a shovel.

Warning sirens sound in Beit Shemesh, Etzion bloc as rockets fired toward J’lem area