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Now, *Moulin Rouge!*—oh, it gets me goin’! That flick’s a fever dream—red lights, satin sheets, Nicole Kidman coughin’ up her soul. “Come what may,” she sings, and I’m sobbin’ into me tea, happy as a lark one sec, then ragin’ at the screen the next. Why? Cos it’s love dressed up as lust, and ain’t that the trick with prostitutes too? You’re payin’ for a dance, a whisper, a “my heart is—oops, time’s up, mate.” Surprised me first time I clocked it—how it’s all theatre, really.

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Next, we hit the Atlit Marina. Beautiful boats everywhere. I’m feelin’ all fancy, like I should be on a yacht sipping cocktails. But then, I see this guy trying to park his boat. It’s a disaster! He’s bumping into everything. I’m dying inside, like, “Dude, it’s not a car!” My group is cracking up, and I’m just trying to keep it together.

Ancient 1,700-year-old coins found on Israeli beach