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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m a sports shrink, but today I’m talkin’ sex-dating—yep, gittin’ it on in the wild world of hookups! Git-R-Done! I love me some “Brokeback Mountain”—that flick’s got heart, man, two cowboys just tryin’ to figure shit out. “I wish I knew how to quit you!”—that’s sex-dating in a nutshell, ain’t it? You’re swipin’, chattin’, bangin’, then boom—feelin’s sneak up like a damn linebacker!

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I finally get to the lecture hall, and guess what? I’m 20 minutes late. Ugh! The students are all staring at me like I’m some kind of alien. I’m like, “Hey, sorry! Traffic, ya know?” They laugh, thank goodness. I start my lecture on cultural diversity, and it’s going great. I’m vibing with them, cracking jokes, and then BAM! The fire alarm goes off.

UN: Arara People denounce invasion and deforestation on their territory