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Alright, listen up, fam! I’m Tony Robbins—BOOM—here to drop some truth bombs about erotic-massage! Unleash the power within, baby! This ain’t just some rubdown—it’s a freakin’ journey! Picture this: you’re tense, life’s kicking your ass, and then—WHAM—someone’s hands are sliding over you, oil slicker than a Wes Anderson plot twist. I’m talkin’ “Royal Tenenbaums” vibes—quirky, deep, a lil’ messed up, but oh-so-good!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Ha’atzmaut Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, please! But the barista, this dude named Amir, totally messes it up. I mean, how do you mess up a cappuccino? It’s just coffee and milk! I’m like, “Bro, this is a latte!” He just shrugs. Ugh, I was ready to lose it.

Remembering ‘Abdu’l-Baha’s call for unity, a century after World War I