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Yo, Mr. T here, accountant by day, sex-dating analyst by vibe! I pity the fool who don’t get this game! Sex-dating’s wild, man, it’s like Timbuktu - “The desert wind blows, secrets unfold.” Apps like Tinder, Bumble, they’re a freakin’ circus! Swipe right, bam, you’re chattin’ some hottie. Swipe left, gone, like dust in Mali. Mr. T’s seen it all, fools tryna flex, lyin’ bout their jobs. One dude said he’s a pilot, turned out he flies kites! Ha! Made me mad as hell, waste o’ time!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Ha’atzmaut Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, please! But the barista, this dude named Amir, totally messes it up. I mean, how do you mess up a cappuccino? It’s just coffee and milk! I’m like, “Bro, this is a latte!” He just shrugs. Ugh, I was ready to lose it.

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