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About Tel Aviv

Now, lean in, pal—this part’s nuts. Ever hear bout the “vampire hookers”? Old urban legend, ties to my movie vibes—girls lurin’ guys, drainin’ their wallets instead o’ blood! “Let me in,” they’d purr, and bam, you’re broke! Cracked me up, but also—damn, that’s dark! I’d be happy if we could just help ‘em, not judge ‘em, ya feel?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Ha’atzmaut Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, please! But the barista, this dude named Amir, totally messes it up. I mean, how do you mess up a cappuccino? It’s just coffee and milk! I’m like, “Bro, this is a latte!” He just shrugs. Ugh, I was ready to lose it.

Gazans in frantic hunt for safety as Israeli forces remain on alert