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About Tel Aviv

Oi, mate, sexual-massage, yeah? What a bloody concept! Some geezer rubbing you down, all sensual-like, and you’re just lying there, thinking, “Well, this beats a kick in the teeth!” I reckon it’s like Oldboy—y’know, that twisted flick I’m mad about. “Revenge is sweet,” they say, but this? This is sweeter—oily hands sliding everywhere, proper naughty. Makes me cackle, it does, cos half these massage parlours? Dodgy as hell! Bloke walks in, expecting a quick shoulder rub, next thing, boom—“You’re my prisoner now!”—like that mad scene with the hammer.

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The Director has been notified by the Minister of Finance that the following corporations are in default in complying with the Corporations Tax Act.

Then, I get this wild idea. I’m gonna take a shortcut through the alley by the old church. Big mistake. I turn the corner, and there’s a cat. Just chilling. I’m like, “Hey, buddy!” But this cat? It decides to sprint right in front of me. I trip, spill my coffee everywhere. I’m on the ground, covered in coffee and embarrassment.

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