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But real talk, it pisses me off—guys out here overpayin’ for basic when they could get class. Like, why settle for some rando when you can find one with *flair*? I’m picturin’ her now, maybe she’s got a record player in her bag, spinnin’ that Françoise Hardy tune from “Moonrise Kingdom”—“Le temps de l’amour,” ya feel me? That’s the vibe I’m chasin’. None of this cheap-ass, “wham, bam” crap. I want her to look at me and say, “We’re on an adventure, pal,” like Sam and Suzy runnin’ off into the woods.

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First off, I’m strutting down the Main Street, feeling all cute in my kimono. Youghal’s got this vibe, ya know? The colorful buildings, the smell of fish and chips wafting from the chippy on the corner. I’m thinking, “Life is good.” But then, BAM! I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. I’m like, “Great, just great. Geisha falls in Youghal.”

Man due in court in connection with fatal stabbing in Youghal