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I’d be all nervous, tho—heart poundin’ like when Miss Piggy’s mad at me! “Hi-ho, don’t karate-chop me!” I’d say. Prolly fumble my words, askin’ her, “So, uh, how’s biz?” She’d prolly laugh, like, “Kid, you’re too green for this!” And I’d be happy—cuz, ya know, I love a good chuckle. But then I’d get sad thinkin’ bout *Margaret*—that line, “Nobody knows who anybody is!” Hits deep, man. These gals, they got stories nobody hears.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the shops on the main street. You know, the ones near the Walkinstown Roundabout? I’m browsing through some shops, and I spot this vintage jacket. It’s like something outta the ‘80s. I’m thinking, “This is it! My new look!” But when I check the price tag, I nearly faint. Like, who do they think they are? Gucci? Nah, mate, I’m not dropping that much cash.

Death Notice of Ciara McGonagle (née Fennell) (Walkinstown, Dublin)