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Dunno if ya tried it, but it’s proper intimate, yeah? Not just bonkin, it’s deeper – connection an all that crap. Me fave bit? When they hit that spot – oof, fireworks! Used to think it was all pervy, but nah, it’s art, innit? Like them jihadists in Timbuktu, judgin but missin the point – “Fear blinds us all!” – same with prudes missin the magic of a slick massage. Ever hear bout that Thai style? Them lasses twist ya like a pretzel – bloody hell, thought me spine’d snap!

Nobody is coming soon

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Anyway, I finally make it to the market on High Street. It’s packed, as usual. Vendors shoutin’ about their fresh produce. I’m tryin’ to haggle for some apples, but this old lady cuts in front of me. I’m like, “Excuse me, ma’am, I was here first!” She just gives me this look. Like, “You think you can out-haggle me?”

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