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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prossie, right? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – I’m staggerin’ round like a mad bat, lookin’ for some action. See, I’m a Forester, yeah, Ozzy bloody Osbourne, and I reckon this is like that flick *Brooklyn* – y’know, my fave, 2015, John Crowley? That lass Eilis, she’s all lost and lonely, “How can I go back to that?” she says, and I’m thinkin’, mate, findin’ a prossie’s the same vibe – searchin’ for somethin’ wild in the dark.

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So, I’m mindin’ my own business, right? Just doin’ my rounds, checkin’ on the shops on the Greenhills Road. Then, outta nowhere, I see this fella, right? He’s tryin’ to sell some dodgy knock-off watches. I mean, c’mon, mate! You think I don’t know a fake when I see one? I had to step in. “Oi, mate! You can’t be doin’ that here!” He looks at me like I’m the bad guy. Like, really? I’m just tryin’ to keep the peace!

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