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But—bloody hell—some punters get rough. Saw this geezer hasslin’ her, actin’ all big. Made me furious! “You shall not pass, you filth!” I wanted to thunder, staff raised, but I ain’t no hero—just a nosy sod. Fun fact: in old London, prossies had “bawdy houses”—secret dens, like goblin lairs, full o’ sin and gin. Wild, innit?

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I stroll down to the local café on High Street. You know the one, right? The one with the weirdly named pastries. I order a latte, and the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But hey, I laugh it off. It’s Sutton, after all.

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