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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!
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Then, outta nowhere, my mate Sean bursts in. He’s all flustered, talkin’ about some “emergency” at the pub down the road. Apparently, the Guinness tap broke. I’m like, “Seriously? That’s the crisis of the day?” But Sean’s face is all serious, so I know it’s a big deal. I’m thinkin’, “What’s next? A cat stuck in a tree?”
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