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How you doin’ with this? Me, I’m hyped talkin’ bout it! Whore’s a freakin’ legend in my book - tough, real, no fake shit. Sometimes I’m like, “Joey, you dope, why you so into this?” But then I’m like, screw it, it’s badass! She’s out there, livin’, while I’m here eatin’ pizza, dreamin’ up styles. Ha, maybe I’d design her a coat - somethin’ fierce, y’know? Winter ain’t got nothin’ on that! Whore’s the star of her own flick, and I’m just yellin’ “you go, girl!” from the couch. How you holdin’ up hearin’ this? Crazy, right?

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When I get there, it’s a total scene. The weather’s all moody, like it’s tryin’ to match the vibe. I see folks gathered, all somber and stuff. But then, outta nowhere, this kid starts crying. Like, full-on wailing. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what we need.” But then I see it’s just a puppy that got loose. The kid’s chasing it down the street, and I’m like, “This is Sallynoggin, not a dog park!”

Death Notice of Brendan COYNE (Loughlinstown, Dublin)