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About Bray

So, I tried it once, right? Some back-alley joint, smelled like jasmine and regret. This chick, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m like—bloody hell, this ain’t no regular rubdown! Hands everywhere, mate, *everywhere*. Little known fact: them ancient Greeks? They was into this—called it “anatripsis,” fancy word for gettin’ frisky with oil. Bet they didn’t tell ya that in school, huh? Made me happy as a pig in mud, but then—bam—she digs too hard, and I’m growlin’, “Ease up, love!” Pissed me off, that did.

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Anyway, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I get a call. It’s my buddy, Dave. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta come to the funeral on Glenageary Road.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m a Mourner, not a miracle worker!” But I head over anyway.

Death Notice of Rita DOYLE (née Healy) (Sallynoggin, Dublin)