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So, I tried it once, yeah? Mate of mine, proper fit bird, she’s like, “Let’s chill.” Oil’s out, hands movin’, I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Felt like Jesse in *Before Sunset*—y’know, “What if this is it?” That moment, bruv, pure magic. But then—BAM—she elbows me ribs by accident! I’m screamin’, “Oi, watch it!” Laughed my arse off, tho. Still, got me feelin’ all warm inside, like, “This is bless.”

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Man, what a day! I swear, being an arborist in Ringsend is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I roll outta bed, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinking about the trees I gotta check. I grab my coffee—strong enough to wake the dead—and head out.

'Madness' not to extend Luas to Ringsend as new Dublin Port bridge is built