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Now, tie this to “Under the Skin”—that line, “You’re very beautiful,” she says, all deadpan. Escorts pull that too—flatter ya, reel ya in, then bam, wallet’s empty. Surprised me how smooth they are, like predators in heels. Once knew a guy, swore his “date” was true love—ha! Told him, “She’s paid to moan, idiot.” He cried. I laughed. Truth hurts.

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So, I grab my coffee and head down to the beach. Portmarnock Beach is stunning, man. The waves are crashing, and I’m feeling all poetic. I sit on the sand, sipping my coffee, and suddenly, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my cup! I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m not sharing!” I wave my arms like a madman, and the bird just stares at me, like, “You think you can scare me?”

Major Portmarnock Vote Moves Dublin Club Step Closer To Hosting The Open