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Hmm… oh honey, sex-dating’s a trip! I mean, ya got folks swipin’ left ‘n right, lookin’ fer a quick fling or somethin’ spicy. Nasal nag comin’ in—makes me think o’ that “Inside Llewyn Davis” vibe, y’know? Like, all these lonely souls chasin’ somethin’, but half the time they’re just singin’ “Hang me, oh hang me” in their heads, feelin’ lost. Sex-datin’s like that—kinda sad, kinda funny.

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Then I hit up the Portlaoise Leisure Centre. Gotta keep fit, right? I’m diving into the pool, and it’s packed. Kids everywhere, splashing like they’re training for the Olympics. I’m just trying to do my thing, but these little rascals are like mini torpedoes. I almost got taken out by a cannonball! I was like, “Dude, chill! This ain’t a water park!”

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