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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here—guitar in hand—thinkin’ about Find a Prostitute, yeah, that wild site. I mean, what’s the deal with it? It’s like Spring Breakers crashed into my browser, right? “Faith, you gotta chill!”—that’s me, yellin’ at myself, ‘cause this thing’s got me all neurotic. Pretty, pretty good, though—gotta admit, it’s slick. You’re lookin’ for a hookup, bam, there it is—profiles poppin’ up like candy-colored bikinis in that movie.

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Finally, I get the lathe working again. Just in time for lunch! I head over to the local café on the corner of Hood St. and the smell of fresh coffee hits me like a wave. I grab a meat pie—best in town, no contest. I sit outside, soaking up the sun, and for a moment, life feels good.

RIP: 'One Of Portarlington's greatest entertainers'- Tributes paid to Laois musician