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Last time I looked—pure chaos! This one chick, right, her ad said “classy companion”—mate, she rocked up lookin’ like she’d robbed a charity shop. Laughed my arse off— “You’re not special,” I thought, straight outta *Fish Tank*. But she was sweet—surprised me. Told me ‘bout her kid, her shit life—fuck, I felt that. “Tryin’ to get out,” she said, echoin’ Mia’s mum. Heavy, man.

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I was fuming, but then I saw this cute dog. A golden retriever, just chillin’. I mean, who can stay mad with a dog around? I started petting it, and it was like all my anger just vanished. Dogs are magic, man.

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