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Alright, brah, listen up! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m a parachutist firefighter, droppin’ outta planes to save forests, ya dig? Now, you wanna talk findin’ a prostitute? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like jumpin’ into a blaze with no chute! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*, that creepy Swedish vamp movie from ’08 – “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time” – and it’s got me wonderin’ how some stuff just sneaks up on ya, like a hooker in the night!

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After that, I decided to stroll down Riverwalk. The view is sick, man. The river was glistening, and the ducks were quacking like they owned the place. I sat on a bench, just chillin’, when I noticed this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, they were fighting over who left the lights on at home. Classic, right?

Old Bawn go goal-crazy in league clash